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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Seriously lady back off.

We have a neighbor, a very crazy one..
She lives across the hall (were 3rd floor condo peeps)
and she's CRAZY, did I mention that already?

Right after we moved in (3.5 years ago) my husband was coming home from work one day, still in uniform realized that there were ambulances, and patrol cars outside, so of course he wasn't just going to walk by, he looked around a realized they were all in crazy lady's house so he stopped in to see what was going on.

The story is she "tried" to kill herself by overdosing on pain pills, and called 911, when it didn't work the way she planned. So once she got released from the hospital after an eval, she came home and knocked on our door and  thanked my husband for stopping over. 

Well, a few days later I started hearing weird stories about my husband as told by crazy lady (who's 55 by the way). She was telling the neighbors that he.. are you ready for this.. was secretly in love with her, which is why he stopped over, when he heard she tried to kill herself, (in her words) he wanted to save her life.

Lets get this straight lady, police officer comes home to find other officers he works with in our building, assisting fire & EMT, and since it is pretty much his job, he stopped over to see if you were really as crazy as all the neighbors had been saying.... yea your right.. sounds like true love to me.. in fact I think you guys are best fitted to be life partners.... are you CRAZY?

O yea thats right you are that why we call you crazy lady. 

I should explain that I truly feel horribly sorry for people who are suicidal, and have tried to end their lives. What I do not feel sorry for, are people who are a drag on the system, and pretend to kill themselves so they get checked into the hospital for a few days to be evaluated, for the possibility of being prescribed more drugs. Do I really think this woman is suicidal... absolutely NOT, I am a nurse I have worked with suicidal patients, (not many, but still), and my husband deals with them all the time. 
Put simply: if she was going to do it, I think she would have by now. 

Ok so that went down three years ago, thats pretty much how me met her. Over the next few weeks she started knocking on our door every so often, most of the time my husband was at work. She would say things like..
"Is the officer home?"
"Something horrible has happened I need Law Enforcement assistance"

I would always tell her "you should call 911 then"
she would try to get me to call my husband, or say can you ask him to stop by when he gets home..

Um how do I put this.. NO.

One time after a huge snow, she saw me outside and asked if my husband would be coming home in uniform and if so wasn't he obligated to shovel out her car...??

Are you freakin kiddin me lady, hire the neighbors kid to shovel you car out, or shovel it yourself.. he is a police officer, not the paper boy looking for some spending money, and no he is not obligated to do anything for you. If you need a cop call 911 don't come knocking on our door.

One time, she even came to the door, I answered it and she said " my cable is out, is yours?" I told her ours was fine, and went to shut the door, she then said "Are you sure ? can I come in and just check?, O and is the officer here?"... alright you really starting to get on my nerves. How about you go pop some pills, turn your horrible country music up loud, and pet one of your thirteen cats, and leave us the hell ALONE. I told her thats not a good idea, and I think it would be best if she left. She didn't seem very happy with that... she should be glad that I opened the door and not my husband as he would have said it in a few other words.

So every few weeks, she calls 911 they come out, and the cycles continues. 

Today I left for work at noon, that crazy woman must have waited until she saw my car pull away, and then walked over and POUNDED on my door (which woke the child who has the ear infection and has not been sleeping, great one more reason to hate her
My husband answered and told me it went something like this..
Crazy Lady: I need someone to talk to
Husband: What?!?!
CL: I have to much going on in my life and I need to talk to someone
H: So call a therapist
CL: No I want to talk to you..
(You have to remember he is a cop, so he is used to dealing with peoples crap all day long, he doesn't really put up with Bullsh*t, O, and he's really blunt)
H: Yea but I don't really want to talk to you
CL: Why do you hate me, I just need you to let me in
H: Let you in? Are you F'n serious.. I don't know you, you need to go home
CL: Fine if you don't let me in I will go home and just kill myself then
H: O.K. well while you over there dial 911, you can talk to them

As soon as he closed the door, he picked up his phone and called into dispatch for them to start some units this way for the neighbor. I'm sure the police who respond here are kinda tired of this show, that goes on like once a month. 

So I'm sure after she gets released from this eval, she will be knocking on the door thanking her "knight in shining Armour" for calling the ambulance and saving her life again... and let me tell you... If I hear her tell me one more time.. how she can't say no to a "man in uniform".. I may just flip out on her..... DO you realize you could be his mother.

Seriously Back Off.....

Again, I am not writing this in any way to make fun anyone who is suicidal. We know this woman is now, but, (and my husband can tell you this) citizens know what words to use to get their way with police officers, so they get taken to the hospital, and possibly given more drugs. Like I said earlier, I am deeply saddened for anyone who is going through a dark time in their life. What upsets me even more is the attention given to those who are pretending to be suicidal, and those who truly are get no attention at all. This post is more about this crazy woman who is probably telling the nurses about the dreamy officer who she is planning to marry one day, what she needs to realize is he is married to me, and she's almost old enough to carry an AARP card. 


Lea said...

Yikes she sounds like a real nightmare, this reminded me of the (equally) crazy lady that I lived next to when I was going to school in Syracuse-- she was pure eeeeveeelll.....

Btw, nice blog, I just started my own and Tony pointed out that I should follow you :)

Jen Watts said...

Oh goodness! I love your funny posts! Hope your baby girl is feeling better!

Mrs Not So Newlywed said...

I feel so much better I'm not the only one who's husband has a psycho old with an obsessive stalked cougar crush on her husband!

Steph said...

OMG this is so funny the way you told it!! Not funny to have to live through it. :(

I hope your little punkin feels better and gets some good sleep!

keep crazycakes away!

mel @ the larson lingo said...

oh my gosh...she is C-RAZY!!! I am so sorry you have to deal with her...what a nightmare. I must confess...I laughed out loud a few times while reading this....people amaze Just say no to crazy!
p.s. I just found your blog today & am now following...your blog title is awesome. I love wine :)

Mrs. Mama said...

oh my... crazy is an understatement that's for sure.... eek!