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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

End of a chapter

It has now been almost 3 weeks since E stopped nursing. I guess she just decided that she was too big for that :) 
It happened so suddenly too. One day she was nursing like normal 4 times during the day, and the next day, nope she was done. I thought maybe it was a phase, or she wasn't feeling good, and I kept offering for the next week. But every time she would push it away like she does to the spoon when shes full. She takes a bottle just fine though. I had been dealing with some supply issues {whats new right?} and I don't know if that was annoying her, but for whatever reason she decided she was done. 

I have heard from many mommas that the other end of this isn't any easier, the babies who want to keep nursing until they are 15, Heck as much money as we were saving not buying formula, I was about to start bottling it and sending with her to college.. just kidding the weird thing.. and I shouldn't say weird, since I have heard from different mommas that also ended up at this same frequency, but now she will wake up at 4:30is every morning nurse and then go right back to sleep. 

I'm sure half of you are shaking your head at me right now, but don't judge. I wasn't expecting my almost 9 month old {at the time} to just give up on nursing, I had planned to do it until 12 months. I really loved it and our time together, so to just cut it off like that, was sad. {For those of you have have never nursed, you may be thinking I need meds for my emotions, and you know what.. you may be right, I may actually need meds for a few different things, but unless you have nursed you just don't understand, why I am feeling this way, or maybe you do????}So yes I do get up and nurse her, maybe I will look back on this and say "why the heck did I do that" but honestly I don't think I will, she will only be this small for just a short time more, and I enjoy it. 

Now I don't go in and wake her, if she sleeps through it.. so be it, but if she wakes I just nurse her at that one time and shes right back to sleep. For the past three weeks I have been keeping up with pumping on the same schedule she was taking bottles, boy do I hate that pump, I am thinking when this is all over I may have a burning ceremony???

Starting this week I am going to try and figure out how my body will respond to gradually tapering down with the pumping, I would like to still nurse her that one time if I can. I have heard some woman were able to keep their supply at only once per day, and others dried up quickly, so I am curious to see how this all plays out. I am thinking it wont last, especially since I only have ever nursed/pumped one side at a time. 

so that would mean she would nurse from each side every other day, and I'm not thinking I want to be lopsided it will work out.

So while I am a bit sad that this part of our lives is over, I am also kinda excited, that I can drink more then one glass of wine now that I can workout harder, not have to dress in clothes that are nursing acceptable.. totally walked out of the house on Easter Sunday in a white sundress and realized.. if I had to go nurse her I would pretty much have to undress my self.... yea not a good thing .. at church.. and on Easter.. {hmm I say that like in any other situation it would be ok to be naked... LOL}

In case your wondering, I do have a freezer full of breastmilk, I would say enough for 2 months, right now E is getting my pumped milk 2 times a day and 2 formula bottles a day, she does 4 bottles total every day with 4-5.5 oz in each one. She is also on mostly table food, and some baby food. 


Tracy-Girl @ Then I Got To Thinking said...

Good luck with all of this... I can't imagine how tough it is to figure out the details of breastfeeding, how much to pump, when it's a good time to stop, ect. :)

Jennifer said...

I feel for you! Sawyer is 10.5 months old and 2 out of his 5 bottles are formula. The other feedings are nursing. I used to pump one bottle at work so he would only get 1 formula bottle, but things are changing.

I sometimes get emotional about having to stop, but I plan to stop at one year. It is such a bond that many other people don't understand.

I hope it goes well for you!

Traci said...

I don't even nurse and I'm bit emotional over weaning from the pump, now that is really weird and delusional. I think it's the whole providing for your baby thing.

I'm down to two pumping sessions a day now and my milk supply went way down(finally)when I went down to two and I'm an over achiever(still getting 30 oz). Next week I'm going down to one time and then I will be soon after that.

KLaw said...

I was never able to nurse, but I can imagine how difficult it would be to end so suddenly. :(

Annie said...

this was a very interesting read for me, i'm book marking it in case i need to come back and read it later.
i'm nursing cullen right now and he eats A LOT, like every 2-3 hours and i'm also pumping and giving him 2-3 bottles a day just to make sure he is getting enough. i have a problem though, i can only pump from my right side except in the morning. so cullen nurses on my left side a lot more than my right. i'm sure you can imagine how loop-sided i am, ha! but it's what works for us so i'm just rolling with it.
and i know that bond you are talking about with nursing!! my hubby wanted me to pump exclusively so we knew that cullen was eating enough but i refused, i can't give up that bond that we have. not right now! and i know he is eating enough since he's growing like a weed ;)
i'll be back to read more (hopefully) and see how things are going with you! i haven't read blogs in forever and probably won't be posting myself anymore but i hope to keep up with yours!!

Anonymous said...

I can understand this a little bit. Each time my supply drops I freak out and get all sad and emotional that I will have to stop nursing. It's a bond that I could never truly understand before I had my baby. I hope that you are able to keep it up as long as you desire to. I'm sure it's hard to stop and even harder to stop before you are ready. :(