We have all been there, noticing just how Green the Grass is on the other side of the fence, maybe you noticed their children are more well behaved then yours, or maybe they drive much nicer cars, could it be they seem more in love then you and your partner, or is it that they have appear to have an endless amount of money to spend on whatever they desire. No matter the situation it would be hard to say we don’t wish we had what “they” have now and then.
I recently heard someone say “If you are always noticing how much greener the grass is on the other side of the fence, then it just might be time to start watering your grass.” How true is that?? As humans in a fast paced world we have gotten so used to getting what we want when we want it, with little or no effort on our part, and because of this it is hard to really grasp the fact that if you are looking for change in a certain area of your life, then you may actually need to jump in a do something about it.
I’m sure you have heard the age old saying if you always do what you have always done you will always get what you always got… That pretty much sums is up, if you only put in your 9 to 5 never ever taking initiative to go the extra mile, or show up a bit earlier then 9 on the dot… you never come through for your boss when he needs it, or put in the late hours.. Then its not hard to understand why you may be in the same financial problems you were in when you started the job. I have yet to hear about a guy who gets the promotion because he lacks initiative, communication skills, and fails to show up on time. No, the guy who wanted the pay increase and the bigger office decided he must do something about the current situation he was no longer satisfied with.
This can carry through into your relationships as well, not only with your husband or wife, but also your friends, and your children. If you are not getting what you want out of said relationship it may not always be the other person, sometimes you may need to jump in there and do something about it. Husbands not surprising you with flowers anymore, or dressing up for dates, or calling you those pet names from high school? Think about it for a second, you want what you had in the early days of your relationship again…. Your thinking its all him… sweetheart, it might be time to actually trade your sandals in for a pair of stilettos, pop on a little black dress, and plan a fun date…. The saying then becomes If you want what you once had you must do what you once did.
I recently got to spend the afternoon with my dear friend R, she was recently in a very serious car accident where she spent 2 weeks in shock trauma, followed by 2 weeks at a rehab facility, and has now returned to live at her mother’s house since her house is not wheelchair accessible. She is a beautiful, talented, loving, funny, fashionable woman. She loves God, her husband, and her children, and you can tell after just a few minutes with her just how upbeat she is! She was a fast paced, on the go, very hip momma, who enjoyed healthy eating, and working out, and running very much.
Since the accident things are very different for her, she is now in a wheelchair, unable to walk, she shattered her pelvis, and broke her tailbone, so sitting is very uncomfortable for her. Its very hard for her to wear certain clothing especially that with waistbands, as it causes tremendous pressure on her already sore pelvic area. She uses a walker to hop down the hallway when she needs to use the restroom, and must bathe out of the sink.
She has friends and family coming to be with her and her three children around the clock, to do things for her that she used to do with such ease. She is not even able to pick up her sweet 5 month old baby someone must lay him in her lap for her to hold him. I quickly noticed while I was with her this past weekend, that she of all people has every right in her situation to look at the so called greener grass, and wish for a second her circumstance was different. However what I found was very much the opposite. She seems to be embracing this time. She is learning so much about herself, and her family. She gets quiet time to herself every morning, until her husband brings the kids over to see her, she is learning to take life at a whole new pace…
I never heard her complain, or see her get frustrated that she literally had to lift her own leg onto the bed using her arms, as she has no control over that leg right now. Her medical bills are into the hundreds of thousands, and she no longer gets to sleep in bed with her husband, and sneak in at night to peak on her babies. She cannot even fix her own lunch, But… she was cheerful, and full of joy and ever so thankful for the things everyone is doing for her.
I truly believe that the outcome of the situation you are in whether good or bad, has a direct correlation to the attitude you have while you are in it. You may not have that much money, or drive a fancy car, or be in the best health… but there are many things that you may take for granted that other people are only wishing they had.
Instead of admiring the greener grass on the other side of the fence, do something about your own situation, and if your situation cannot necessarily be changed, adjust the way you are reacting to it, and you may just start finding joy where you once thought there wasn’t any left.