I prayed many time that my sweet girl who at one point was considered high risk due to IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction) would be born healthy and a solid birth weight. I prayed that she would be a good nurser and that my family would make it to the hospital in time. I prayed that I would be a good mother, and I would always put her needs before mine, that I would teach her good values and morals, and more importantly model those values in my own example to her.
I prayed that her father and I would always remember to respect and love each other, to show her the example of a healthy relationship, and that her father would love an cherish her, so that she would look for a man to do the same for her in the future.
I prayed that God would give me guidance in making choices for her, a soft voice for reprimanding her, and a full heart for loving her. It was then that I remember the nurse letting me know that doctor was coming and I could push.. I was more then thrilled, I pulled together every last bit of strength I had and focused on meeting her face to face.
She came out and was laid on my chest, a tiny petite 6 and a half pound baby .......... was mine, and relied fully on me for everything at that moment. I wish I would have known then just how fast this day would creep up on me. Its not cliche... it really does go by so fast and feel like just days ago I was delivering her. I will never forget the feeling of her soft wrinkly skin, or the smell of her hair. I can still feel her soft inhale and exhale against my chest and the way she would nuzzle into my neck and drift off to sleep.
I have learned so many things this year, I have accomplish so many things, taught many things, and like every new mom regret many things. I regret caring what other people thought, and trying to be something I was not, I regret not cuddling her more, and making more time..... but ..... that is part of life.... there are many things I could look back on and wish I had the power to change, but there are many more things to look back on and just savor........ savor the laughter, the smiles, the hugs, and kisses... the late nights in the rocking chair, the many first's we shared.
I love you my sweet girl!
|Photo taken by Tracy Marshall Photography|