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Sunday, February 17, 2013

The whisper in the Dark

After a busy night full of excitement having dinner with friends, we came home to get a tiny 2 year old in the bathtub. There was lots of running through hallways and laughing as each thread of clothing came off, and nakey time was being had, oh how my girl loves to be naked. 

Then the " I do it's" started.. " I wun the wawer mama", "I gets mines towel", and then the screeching of the stool was heard as the new accomplishment of potty and washing hands can all be done by ones self was demonstrated. 

Bubbles, and toys, and floating were all enjoyed in the bathtub, and then lotion and warm jam jam's! It was alot thrown into a 45 minute span, and mama was already wearing thin after single mom'n it for the past few, while hubs worked extra shifts. 

I was looking forward to a quick bedtime, and then some relaxing time for me, we had our milk, lots of kisses, and a few quick rocks in the rocking chair, and then Emmaline went in her crib, for what I thought was goodnight. 

3 trips up the stairs later, and I was explaining that she did not need any more stuffies in her crib, she had already peed enough for the night, and that she is the baby I am the mama, and she needed to go to sleep!! I was a bit annoyed but trying not to show it, even though I was ready for bedtime to be completed. 
She then quietly told me that daddy had found her favorite pacifier, and I replied " That's because your daddy is a good daddy".... she smiled at me cupped my face with her hands in the soft light of only her nursery nightlight and said " And you are a good mama". 

It shattered, right there, my heart could not be picked up as one piece but had quickly shattered into thousands of pieces. I no longer cared about what I wanted to do after bedtime, only about more snuggles surrounded by the smell of johnson and johnson bedtime lotion. 

It was just one soft whisper in the dark that changed my whole night, and my heart. 

I no longer felt inconvenienced by a delayed naptime, instead I felt captivated by this moment that I had with her. Normally she is talking about Angelina Ballerina, or her preschool pals, but today she spoke right to my heart. 

Which made me realize, our children, they don't look at the car we drive, or how many mom groups we are in, or how many playdates we keep up with... and they still think we are GOOD mamas. They love us just the way we are, and they love us in our weak moments, and they love us when the attitude of our heart sometimes seems unlovable. Remembering this helps me when I want to raise my voice, or hurry Emmaline along.. She is tender and soft, and thats how I should treat her, now is not the time to rush her, now is the time to mold her, or in this case let her mold me!


Traci said...

Awe... So sweet. I too find my self hurrying along bedtime so I can get some me time especially when the Bachelor is on and then I think it's so stupid that I'm hurrying up this precious time for some stupid show.

Shannon Dew said...

awe how sweet!! seriously bedtime has been rough around here lately, and i get super frustrated a lot {like last night} but good god, who can resist that sweetness?

Lucy Marie said...

My goodness. This busted me into a million pieces. What a sweet girl you have. And thank you for the reminder to be tender. I've been struggling with this lately, for sure!

Callie Nicole said...

I LOVE this post - how precious, and what a sweet reminder to slow down and soak it up. Thank you for sharing this.