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Tuesday, October 1, 2013

But, do they really know.

Take a moment and think about one of the most important people in your life? Maybe it's your husband, sister, child, mother, father, friend, whoever. Obviously if they were the first person to pop into your head you most likely care a great deal about them. Now take a moment to think about the last time you told that person you loved them? That memory may have popped into your head just as quickly as the persons name or face.... now take a moment to think about the last time you told them WHY you loved them? Takes a while longer doesn't it? Maybe you are still thinking about it? I'm not talking about the cheap, " I love you because you are mine, or I love you because you make me happy" but a real, true, meaningful answer. Don't worry mine recollections weren't the easiest to pull up.  In fact, you may now be wondering why the memory had to jog back so far to remember. 

This leads me to believe that we have formed a habit, or saying the words "I love you" without having emotion or feeling behind it. Let's think for a moment, of your child, or my child.. does my child know I love her? Well sure, sure she does... but, does she know why? She may have her own generic idea of why, but do I place reassurance in her knowing the reason why she is loved.

What about in the case of a spouse... does my husband know I love him, he certainly does... but is it because I show him my love, or express the emotion or reason behind my love, or do I carelessly use the words "I love you" and hope that that makes a statement.

I wish I knew right now that my husband, my daughter, and family and friends who matter the most to me know why they do.. but I would honestly have to count back many days to get to a point that I followed up a habit formed three word security sentence with more words of meaning... "I love you, because"

Do you ever wonder why you husband no longer does those things that make the butterflies rise up inside of you? Or the moments that leave you breathless? Well, did you recognize the action last time it happened, or did you just offer the reward of "I love you?"

I hope those of you reading this do not take offence to my belittlement of the very powerful words, it's rather the opposite, I know the power those words hold, and yet we throw them around as sentence closers, or to fill empty space, and then over time they begin to loose the very feeling that comes along with them.

Think back with me, if you will, to that moment in time.... you know the one, when the man of your dreams finally said it... "I love you". I bet you can recall many details about that moment in time, where you were, maybe what you were wearing, a scent, a feeling, ...... to took value in those words as you had been waiting months to hear them.

What if those words could still evoke such emotion? What is hearing them would still stop you dead in your tracks, or cause your husband to turn around and your eyes meet, full of communication without any words being spoken. What if everytime your child heard those words they lit up, because you followed them with a reason that made them feel even more special then before?

I clearly realize that love is not always earned, now should you need reasons to love people, and that in many cases love is a decision to love even when the feeling are not there, but maybe by taking a step and adding more meaning to I love you, the feeling would return. 

There are 31 days until the end of the month... thats at least 31 times to tell those whom you love, just WHY you have chosen to love them! Won't you join me on the quest? To make sure that they not only KNOW you love them, but KNOW WHY you do.


Anastasia said...

This is perfect btw. I think sometimes in marriage we just assume things and our 'glimmer" is a little less sparkly and little more dull. I choose to join you and not only re-sparkle, but to add more colors.

Hannah said...

Really excellent post. I often find myself thinking about this when I tell my partner how I feel. I really try to think about the meaning behind the words and what they mean to me before I say them now, about how lucky I am and what he means to me. Thanks for sharing such insightful thoughts! :)